Cancer 12
30 Sep 2024Back to entry 1
I was glancing at the New York Times and saw that Catherine, the Princess of Wales, had released an update on her treatment. And I thought, “wow, I hope she’s doing well”. And then I thought, “wow, I bet she gets a lot of positive affirmation and support from all kinds of people”.
I mean, she’s a princess.
Even us non-princesses, we need support too, and I have to say that I have been blown away by how kind the people around me in my life have been. And also how kind the other folks who I have never really talked with before have been.
I try to thank my wife as often as I can. It is hard not to feel like a burden when I am, objectively, a burden, no matter how much she avers I am not. I am still not fully well (for reasons), and I really want to be the person she married, a helpful full partner. It is frustrating to still be taking more than I’m giving.
From writing about my experience here, I have heard from other cancer survivors, and other folks who have travelled the particular path of colorectal cancer treatment. Some of them I knew from meetings and events, some from their own footprint on the internet, some of them were new to me. But they were all kind and supportive and it really helped, in the dark and down times.
From my work on the University of Victoria Board of Governors, I have come to know a lot of people in the community there, and they were so kind to me when I shared my diagnosis. My fellow board members stepped in and took on the tasks I have not been able to do the past few months, and the members of the executive and their teams were so generous in sending their well-wishes.
And finally, my employers at Crunchy Data were the best. Like above and beyond. When I told them the news they just said “take as much time as you need and get better”. And they held to that. My family doctor asked “do you need me to write you a letter for your employer” and I said “no, they’re good”, and he said, “wow! don’t see that very often”. You don’t. I’m so glad Crunchy Data is still small enough that it can be run ethically by ethical people. Not having to worry about employment on top of all the other worries that a cancer diagnosis brings, that was a huge gift, and not one I will soon forget.
I think people (and Canadians to a fault, but probably people in general) worry about imposing, that communicating their good thoughts and prayers could be just another thing for the cancer patient to deal with, and my personal experience was: no, it wasn’t. Saying “thanks, I appreciate it” takes almost no energy, and the boost of hearing from someone is real. I think as long as the patient doesn’t sweat it, as long as they recognize that “ackknowledged! thanks!” is a sufficient response, it’s all great.
Fortunately, I am not a princess, so the volume was not insuperable. Anyways, thank you to everyone who reached out over the past 6 months, and also to all those who just read and nodded, and maybe shared with a friend, maybe got someone to take a trip to the gastroenterologist for a colonoscopy.
Talk to you all again soon, inshala.
