Blood Sucking Phone Company

So, I’m sitting in SeaTac, minding my own business, drinking a cup of tea (SeaTac travel tip: free WiFi at Tully’s coffee with purchase) and my phone rings. It is my (god forsaken, soul sucking, devil worshipping) cell-phone company. They want to give me a free phone! It’s quad band! It’s got a great camera! I’m a preferred customer, so it’s only $10 (for a $300 phone!) and comes with a second line.

Well, having been screwed before, my ears perk up. What is this second line, of which you speak? “Oh, you get unlimited minutes for three months, sir!” And after three months? “We can get you a couples package.” Well, fabulous. Another up-sell. Thanks, but no thanks, and take your fabulous phone with you.

It’s a good thing they weren’t offering me an iPhone, or I would have cracked.